Family Birthdays

Red Velvet and Chocolate

I'm pretty sure the best thing about being a grad student right now has nothing to do with school. The best thing about it is that I'm back in Denver where my family is. I know, adorable right? Don't swoon over it. Family equals free food. And when it's your birthday and you're on the younger end of the spectrum and everyone's favorite, money. Every few months my mom's side has a gathering at the house of whoever's turn it is, where we lump everyone's birthdays together and eat lots of chips and dip and cake and ice cream. This was the first time I've been in the state for my birthday since '03, and I realized I seriously missed family birthdays.

Okay, I admit, it was last Sunday and I've been slow to post. BUT, keep in mind I have to read 69.4 billion pages per week for school, and the only reason I'm doing it right now is because I am PROcrastinating. See what I did there? It's because I'm a pro at it. Anyway, as an avid reader of this site, I'm sure you will recall my mentioning of how food is always somehow involved in life's events. Case in point right here. I think eating together makes it an official celebratory gathering or something (like, if you didn't eat it would be one of those awkward "drop-by" visits with an ulterior motive where you ask for money or something). Of course, food presence is always okay. I like eating.

My brother, Terry, is pretty talented at food preparation (and will be getting a post of his own next time I don't feel like reading about Karl von Clausewitz or whatever) and in this instance he mushed together some meat and grilled it. I don't know exactly what was in his hamburgers, as I was looking for beer while he was mixing them, but I can tell you what the best hamburgers always have: diced onion, Worcestershire sauce, and bread crumbs. And seasoning to one's liking. The onion, well, I don't know what it does besides make it taste good. The Worcestershire hooks up that umami-ness and is classically paired with beef. The bread crumbs are, of course, debatable. They might seem a little unusual in a hamburger, since it's not meatloaf/balls, but they help prevent the hamburgers from shrinking because they absorb the juice that would otherwise be lost in the flames. And since a good hamburger is only 73-80% lean, there's a lot of triglyceride goodness to save. And they make the meat go a little further, which is helpful when you're feeding several Americans.

Flame-broilin'

My Aunt Val made Deviled Eggs, which I thought were reserved only for Christmas, but apparently my birthday, like Jesus's, is worthy. If you don't how to make them, it's pretty simple. Just hard-boil some eggs, peel them and cut them in half. Take out the yolks, mash them up with some mayonnaise, which incidentally is made from egg yolks and oil, and spoon the mixture back into the egg whites. Sprinkle some paprika on top, put them in your specialized deviled egg holder you got for your wedding in '82 and, BOOM, you got deviled eggs. Your heart will thank you later. By stopping. But it's worth it!

There's word-play involving deviled and heavenly in here somewhere

At this point, a dilemma. We have dogs and burgers getting cooked, and a limited number of deviled eggs, so what are we going to stuff our faces with in the meantime? CHIPS AND DIP!!! Pretty much my favorite thing ever invented, and I have had many a dinner comprised solely of Mission Tortilla Triangles and Herdez Medium. Since this was a special occasion, we had a few options. I kind of ignored the salsa and Tostito's Neon Green PowerBait because I was really feeling this ranch-flavored dip we had. It's pretty much just mayonnaise and ranch dressing mix, which come to think of it is just ranch dressing. In any case, it's delicious, not to mention classy. Throw in some Ruffles Ridges and it's like you're at a debutante ball in Newport. Or...a shotgun wedding in Huntsville. Delicious.

I swear to God I don't know how those books got there

Okay, so we've had our satisfaction in hors d'oeuvres, time for the real deal. I don't know who made this squash casserole, but it had vegetables in it so I know it was an in-law. It was good though. It was a mix of summer squash and zucchini on the inside and some butternut squash grated on top. With other stuff. I'm sorry, I know this post is extra lazy but I didn't make any of this stuff so I don't know the logistics of it all.

My cousin Mary made some beans. I figured after the deviled eggs earlier I might was well partake, it's not like anybody would be surprised at the gastro-repercussions of this veritable feast. It was a mix of cannellini, kidney, garbanzo and black beans. Maybe some others. She put them in a slow cooker with lamb, just in case somebody "don't eat a-no meat" (name that movie I'm ashamed I'm quoting). The lamb was really amazing, tender and flavorful in there. Kudos, Mary, for having the fanciest dish. Your prize: a spot on the couch during the Broncos game.

Put it all together on disposable dishware, grab your Sprite and some corn on the cob, and you, my friend, are full-- until it's time for cake and ice cream. But I'm only 24 now, so it's okay. Fat later.

Also: look how adorable my dog is. I don't give him people food, but that doesn't fly with the rest of the clan so he had, like, way too many carbs.

Gramma Kassel is not interested in your puppy eyes

And thanks to Allyssa (not pictured) and Terry for food at their house. And Aunt Val (not pictured) and Uncle John for food at Texas Roadhouse the other night.

Uncle John and Terry

Friends With Food: Shannon's (Soon To Be) Famous Green Chili

Just like parents lie and say that they don't have a favorite child, I lie and say that I like all of my friends equally. Obviously, we all know this cannot possibly be true, because some of my friends make me food. How could I not like these friends more? Exactly. Nota bene: I will like you more if you feed me. I don't know if that's really your goal in life... I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, one of my really good friends I've known since 1847, Shannon Schellinger Todd, made me some green chili. I'll just let you know right now, it was pretty delicious. I kind of wish it was winter right now, because there is not much better than a hot bowl of pork green chili on a cold day. Still, it's great even when it's hot out. For practicality purposes, Shannon delivered the chili to me frozen in a Ziploc bag. I heated it up on the stove over medium-high heat until it was all bubbly.

Smell that?

 At this point I gave a taste to see what I was working with. I seriously love this green chili. It had so many flavors working together. It was tangy, a little sweet and it had the perfect amount of spice; I got the heat but it didn't take away from the flavor. Good job, friend, good job. I decided to have a bowl, but I wanted to add a little freshness on top of it. I chopped up some green onions, cilantro and avocado. The avocado helped give a creamy texture and it balances with the spice, the green onions gave it a little crunch and the cilantro brightened it up a little bit. I added a little Mexican cheese because I had it, and who doesn't like cheese? I ate it with some tortilla chips and got, like, Thanksgiving full because I didn't want to stop.

Tortilla Chip Stonehenge of Flavor

 After everything settled a little bit, I decided to eat again. For dinner I warmed up some tortillas and chicken I had in the fridge to make some Green Chili Chicken Tacos. Same deal with the avocado, green onion, cilantro and cheese. Boom. That chicken would've been soooo dry without that chili on it. Perfect.

Don't be jealous

 This is one of the good things about pork green chili, not only is it delicious (at least in Shannon's case), it's also versatile. It can be everything from a sauce to a soup, and it makes everything better. I like it! And Shannon. Not more than anyone else, of course. Ahem.

Eating Out: Jerusalem Restaurant

One of the best things about living right next to the University of Denver, besides that I can wake up 40 seconds before class starts, is all the awesome bars and restaurants in the area all within walking distance. Today the roommates and I checked out this place like 3 blocks away called Jerusalem. Or Jerusalem Restaurant? It is a restaurant, with Jerusalem in the name. I will call it Jerusalem, just don't get confused; I can't walk to Jerusalem the city. I don't think. Anyway, their website is http://www.jerusalemrestaurant.com. Make sure you turn your speakers all the way up.

Since earlier in the day I had already gorged on sticks, both fish and carrot, I wasn't really hungry, but I had heard such great things that I wanted to go and try something. Plus, I love Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food. I had the tabbouleh, which is a kind of salad made up of bulgur wheat, tomato, onion, parsley, olive oil and lemon juice. It's really flavorful and light, and it's a pretty satisfying snack in the pita bread it came with. It's a lot of parsley, though, so you should brush AND floss immediately afterward if you ever try it. And you should definitely try it, it's delicious.

Awkward angle, but you get it

Alissa had the Chicken Gyro platter. I have no picture, but I stole a bite and it was pretty tasty. Kevin had the Shawarma platter made from filet mignon. It's not the traditional spinning-mix-of-meat shawarma, like a greek gyro, but it was pretty good nonetheless. Yes, I ate some of his, too. Obviously.

The platters came with fatouch salad, which is a lot like the tabbouleh salad, but no bulgur wheat-- sub bell peppers. That means I sure did not eat it. Bell peppers are disgusting, just ask Hilary Duff.

Fatouch, Fattoush...whatever.

After that I ordered some baklava. If you've never had it, fix that. It is amazing. It's a dessert made up of filo dough, chopped walnuts, cinnamon and sugar. The dough gets all crispy, and the walnuts give it a crunchy texture. The cinnamon and sugar give it sweetness, duh, and a little richer flavor. It gets extra sweet when they pour a little simple syrup over the top of it. It doesn't look like a lot, but it definitely packs a ton of sweetness.

Crispety, crunchety baklava!

And there is that. Next time you're at East Evans & High St. check this place out. I'll go with you, there's a bunch of other stuff I want to try. Falafellllllll!

Duh-licious: Salsa Bean Dip

So we're just a few weeks away from the official start of fall. The leaves turn, the air crisps, but most importantly: football season starts. It is probably one of the most exciting times of the year, when Americans all across the country get eye sparkles and regain hope that their team will be NFL Champions. It's amazing. But of course, while enjoying a football game on its own is sufficiently satisfying, the experience is exponentially improved when combined with friends, beer and food (but really, what isn't?). The great, pretty people I always watched football with remain in San Diego, but that sure doesn't mean I can't make and devour, by myself, the food Eddie, Kerin, Michelle and I all used to enjoy during Monday Night Football; incidentally, the only time I've ever really looked forward to a Monday. Here is my recipe for a sure-fire pleaser of fat kids: Salsa Bean Dip.

I'll start out by saying this is ridiculously easy, that's why I called it 'Duh-licious.' So there's that. Here's what you need:

• a can of refried beans (I prefer refried black beans)
• salsa (I like Herdez, but Pace or whatever works is fine)
• Worcestershire sauce
• Mexican shredded cheese
• 1/4 c of corn

Empty the can of refried beans into a medium-sized sauce pan heated over medium-high heat. If you're skilled, the beans will retain the shape of the can. Next, add an equal amount of salsa. You can eyeball it, but if you want to be precise just fill the bean can with salsa. You can make it as thick or as thin as you like-- this obviously depends on how much salsa you add. Heat the beans and salsa, stirring a lot, until it starts to bubble. Then throw in the corn and cheese, and keep stirring until the cheese melts. You're not really trying to cook it, you just want to heat it, but seriously friend, stir a lot or it'll burn. At some point in here, add 3 or 4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce. It's my secret ingredient that gives a nice umami element and makes the dip nice and rich on the back of your tongue. With all things mixed, once the dip is hot you can eat it.

Does it look appetizing at this point? Hell. No. But if you're eating alone, it's fine. If you're trying impress your boss or special friend or whatever, you can spruce it up a little with a little fresh salsa garnish, for which you need:

• an avocado
• a tomato
• some sweet onion
• a few cilantro sprigs

Just chop all that stuff up really finely and mix it together. Boom! Delicious flavors. If you want to put some corn into the salsa, by all means, DO IT. A little jalapeno would be appropriate, too, if your audience can handle the spice. Now you get all fancy by scooping your dip into a bowl, throwing a little fresh salsa garnish on top (it's not just for pretty, it adds fresh, crisp flavors and textures) and sprinkling a little of your cheese on top of that. Squirt of lime juice even? Sour cream perhaps? Get crazy. Yum.

Oh-ficially duh-licious

Set it out next to some tortilla chips, like Mission Tortilla Triangles, and you're friends will like you more. Not more than football or this bean dip, but whatever. At least you're eating so you can cope with it.

Gluttony: 50 Chicken McNuggets for $9.99

Times are tough, and the economy still isn't great. Now, more than ever, Americans are people who love a good deal, and no matter what we will always be people who love to eat. So what's better than getting a good deal on something to eat? Nothing. Especially when you can get mechanically separated chicken parts that are formed into a nugget shape with salt and hydrogenated oil, then fried to a delectable golden crunch, all for about 20 cents each! What an amazing idea this is. Such a good one that even though I typically prefer my meat to be a solid chunk from one single animal, I couldn't resist.

This was about a third of the way in

 I forgot how delicious these nasty little bastards are. What's better, I bonded with my roommate over a pail of these fried calorie mines and college football. You know, we're men. American men. And although dietary deviants they may be, there is something really comforting about chicken nuggets, and something extra special about Chicken McNuggets. You can say what you want about them, but really, and I mean really, on EVERY level, there is nothing more American than 50 Chicken McNuggets for $9.99. On behalf of the McDonald's Corporation, I salute you America. Now I have to get back to my grad school orientation.

Chicken Summer Salad with Dijon Honey Vinaigrette

Look at that sweet bowl

Since we just got finished talking about balsamic vinegar, I thought it would be appropriate to share the salad that I've been eating all summer. This Chicken Summer Salad is a mix of blueberries, strawberries, carrots, tomato, corn, green onions and avocado on top of spring mix lettuce. The Honey Dijon Vinaigrette nicely accents the sweetness of the berries and the creaminess of the avocado. The carrots add crunch and color, and the tomato brings a cool acidity.


I think most important in this salad is the dressing, so I'll start there. Lots of times I get lazy and try to dirty as few dishes as possible, so I'll make the dressing in the bottom of the bowl before I assemble the salad and toss it together later. It's prettier drizzled on top, but when you're eating it alone in a basement you tend to worry about presentation a little less. I also don't really measure the ingredients, but here's pretty much what you'll need:

•  a few squirts dijon mustard (about 2 Tbsp)
• about 1/4-1/3 c extra virgin olive oil
• a dash or two of balsamic vinegar (about 1 Tbsp)
• several shakes of garlic salt (2-3 Tbsp)
• about 2-3 Tbsp freshly ground pepper (season it to taste really)
• about 1 Tbsp of honey
• about 1 tsp of worchestershire sauce

I start with the dijon, add everything else to it and whisk it until it's consistent and smooth. I find the honey helps balance out the acidity of the balsamic vinegar, and the worchestershire sauce adds a nice richness to it, but it's definitely optional if you don't have it on hand.

Somewhere in here it's a good idea to start your chicken. I use one chicken breast, boneless and skinless (which is the only way my very special friend, Desiree, is willing to eat it), and season it on both sides with garlic salt and pepper. Heat up about 3 Tbsp oil in a medium pan over med-high heat. I usually use olive oil because I always have it, but really any oil will work here. Drop the chicken in and cook it about 5-7 minutes on each side. Covering the pan will help the chicken cook evenly and retain some moisture. The chicken should be brown on both sides. If you're not sure if it's done, give a little slice on the thick part and see if the meat is white with NO PINK. If so, voila. While the chicken cooks, you can prepare the rest of the salad.

The vegetarian elements of the salad are pretty straightforward. Make a bed of greens with however much spring mix you feel like eating, and add however much of the rest of the ingredients you want. I usually try to keep the portions of tomatoes, carrots and avocado about the same, which will help to keep the most prominent textures and flavors balanced. Typically, a salad feeding two people (but usually one hungry one) has:

• 1-2 carrots
• 1 medium tomato
• 1 avocado
• 5-7 sliced strawberries
• 1/8 c blueberries (they're expensive!)
• 1 diced green onion
• 1/8 c sweet corn
• a couple handfuls spring mix lettuce

You can julienne the carrots or just slice them, but I think the little julienned strips are a little easier to eat. I like to halve the avocado and cube it with a paring knife while it's still in the skin. I also like a lot of it, so many people could probably live with half of one in the salad. Strawberries bring a lot of sweetness here, so you don't necessarily need to have a ton. Also, if you have a red apple you can dice up half of that and throw it in instead; it also gives sweetness, plus a little extra crunch. One diced green onion will suffice and give just enough tang, and the corn gives a little bonus at the end, since most of the kernels usually sink to the bottom.

When the chicken is cooked and has set for a minute, slice it or cube it, whatever you prefer, and add it to the salad. Drizzle your dressing on top if it's not already in the bottom, and toss it together. Put it in your mouth. You win!

Balsamic Vinegar

I love this stuff. Balsamic Vinegar has been around for centuries in Italy, but from what I understand it's only recently become popular over here in the U.S. There exist basically two types: Aceto Balsamico Tradizionale, either di Modena or di Reggio Emilia, depending on the region, and the more commonly known Aceto Balsamico di Modena, also known as condimento balsamico. Tradizionale is regulated by Italy's Denominazione di Origine Protetta and the European Union's Protected Designation of Origin. It's along the same lines as Champagne, which can only technically be Champagne if it's from the Champagne region of France. Anyway, Tradizionale is always made from grapes mashed into a syrup called motto costo, which is aged at least 12 years in various wooden casks. It's the aging process that removes the moisture and makes it thicker while concentrating the flavor. Don't forget about the bonus flavor from the wood used, too. Delicious and complex, right? Well now that I've got you all excited about the good stuff, let's talk about what most of us use: the much more widely available condimento balsamico. It's an imitation of Tradizionale, and because there's no regulation, it doesn't have to be aged the minimum of 12 years that Tradizionale does. Some types aren't even aged at all, with much of their flavor and color added artificially. Many condimento balsamico vinegars that you'll find will be somewhere in between; usually a little aged, but often still with some additives. The upside to the condimento varieties, of course, is quick production and low cost. The way I see it, a good condimento is perfect for use in dips and dressings, whereas Tradizionale commands a little more reverence and ought to be enjoyed un-mixed, on some hard cheese or a spoon or something.

Don't judge, I didn't have any hard cheese. And guess how much I paid for that spoon? $0.00. Thanks, Grandma!

Any relatively inexpensive option easily found in the grocery store is what I will usually use for my salad dressing. It still has a concentrated flavor, and the balance of sweetness and acidity combines well with the other flavors in the vinaigrette.

This was a healthy amount under $10

My roommate, Kevin, and I recently made a trip to the expensive-ass Cherry Creek Mall (the one with a Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom AND Saks Fifth Avenue) where he picked up a $35 bottle of Oliviers & Co. Vinaigre Balsamique de Modene.

It's still Italian, just distributed by a French company

While it's not technically Tradizionale, it was still aged by the same methods (although the actual number of years is undisclosed...on the bottle at least). It has a much thicker consistency than the cheaper versions, without the additional color additive. It has a beautiful flavor balance and you can definitely tell that a little goes a long way. Kevin made a cedar plank salmon that was pretty much amazing with a little drizzle of this flavor enhancer. Oliviers & Co. also has flavored varieties, including fig and cherry. The cherry was a little polarizing, because whereas I loved its complex combination of sweet and sour, Kevin and the store lady made faces at it. Anyway, point is, there is enough balsamic vinegar variety out there that experimentation is all too possible, and who doesn't love that?

What I think it all comes down to is that there's no real need to worry about whether or not you should buy Tradizionale. It's nice to know it exists, but most people aren't willing to hack up the cash for it, especially when condimento varieties are available; and in my personal, humble, culinary, cost-effective opinion, $8-25 per bottle is an acceptable amount for varieties common in everyday use. Like everything else related to food, it just depends on personal preference. Since I'm broke, I think I'm lucky to have balsamic vinegar at all...so hooray.

A Taste of Colorado, or Post #1

So here we are: 2010. I've moved to a new city, met some new people and I'll be one of these presumptuously grandiloquent grad students soon. Naturally, now is the time I start a blog! A blog about something everyone does, something that everyone enjoys, something so seductive that we wish we were doing it whenever we aren't. It's my blog about a prolific bringer of joy, pleasure and satisfaction. It's a blog about...wait for it...hold your breath...wow, I can't wait...oh my god I'm such a douche...eating. And cooking, and exploring, inventing and experimenting with food. These and whatever else comes along, but since food is probably always involved somehow it seems like a pretty legit common thread to string all those miscellaneous riff-raff events together.


Anyway, everyone know Labor Day Weekend means you have to wear all your white clothes real quick. But it also means that it's time for A Taste of Colorado, an event all about music, shopping and, duh, food. Also, this weekend also means it's time to stain all your nice white clothes with the myriad colorful edibles you'll find. Case in point: a pair of white socks that fell victim to green chile sauce from a cactus burrito (I was sitting cross-legged in the grass, don't worry about how it happened). Besides that gastrointestinal dive, I had some really tasty Buffalo Chicken Balls with bleu cheese, Chipotle Wild Boar Pulled Pork, Fried Alligator Tail and Elk Jerky. Some other things, too, probably. Do I have pictures? No. Why would I bring my camera? That's dumb. Mary and Connor did, though, so I'll steal their pictures to post later. Of course the day ended with stomach cramps and thus a fairly miserable Light Rail ride/walk back home. But, whatever. Worth it.

UPDATE: This is my cactus-burrito-ruined-sock.